Transgenders – Their World and Beyond

Transgenders

Transgenders – Their World and Beyond

Introduction

There has been plenty said about transgenders…many of them are absurd and baseless. Things are looking up for them, we say, and we pride ourselves in being noble enough to accept a malaise into our society by providing them some housing complexes in remote parts of the city, far away from normal social life. All said and done, we still cringe when we look at a transgender walking down the road, eating at a local dingy restaurant, or at traffic signals. It’s something that is just beyond the disgust that is evident as we look at an alternate third gender (yes, beyond the orthodox binary gender discrimination that society has etched so firmly into our minds), at a mental level, we cannot still come to terms with people who look like an ‘absurd cross’ between a male and a female.

Our hatred for them is ingrained into our minds right from childhood. We are told stories of asuras, devils and transgenders. As all stories begin, we recount multiple instances of transgenders haggling us to give them money at the traffic signals, approaching us with a clap of hands and an eccentric flaunting of their womanhood. As we roll up the windows of our air conditioned car at the sight of them, or whistle and catcall when they walk down the road, or molest them when they are in secluded streets, we really do not understand how much of ridicule they actually endure day in and day out.

The Reasons

The people who speak against such transgenders cannot even comprehend how ‘such creatures’ can be born this way. Well, first things first, no transgender is born that way. They take a choice to be a woman. They are born as normally as you or me, the so-called male dominion. The identity crisis begins to set in around the time of puberty, when they are revolting within, as a man, they wish and feel womanly sensations and they start developing womanly attributes, and start falling in love with the concept of being a woman, decked up with jewels, hair braided with jasmine, the gaiety walk, and the pleasures derived out of being a woman through and through. They face ridicule right from childhood, when they are mocked by people for “the girly walk”, “the girly laugh” and everything that are associated with a girl. So, they brand the poor kid to be a “that boy who is a girl” and start calling them names.

It is at that instant, when the womanly tendencies take over a ‘man’ completely, that they choose to embrace their feminine side and turn into women by operating upon themselves. While they know that this would the start of a life of pain, they are ready…as they want to be a woman, mentally, emotionally and physically…and get rid of the ‘man’ virus within their bodies once and for all. And yet, we have women today who say…’I wish I was born a man, I hate being a woman’…well, take a look at these transgenders and be proud of your gender…of who you are…of how pure you all are…that men are embracing womanhood more freely than ever.

The Solution

The government recently announced that the third gender should be included in gender categorization, but, it still is not the long term solution. Companies, private and public, should be able to provide a minimal quota for transgenders. There are plenty of transgenders who are well-read and highly qualified, but without a job just for the fact that they are what they are. The concept of embracing transgenders into our daily life should begin at schools and colleges. Therefore, every school or college must have atleast one transgender in their staff roll. Transgenders always have self-respect and pride at their forefront, so, they pledge to never be corrupt.

The government provides them accommodation in a remote corner of a city, to live as a colony. Well, that only defeats the purpose. They are left to fend for themselves, banished from normal life. All the more reason for people to avoid them. They must be provided with housing facilities amidst everyone else, and treated just like everyone else.

This is a long drawn-out battle for the third gender, and my only hope is that the world will change to accept transgenders into our society better, not just as beggars or sex-workers, but, just like a normal working class of people like you and me.

Let us spread love, joy and peace to the world. All glory to God.  

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You don’t need to try . . . too hard.

You don't have to try . . . too hard

You don’t have to try . . . too hard

I’ve been a firm non-believer of make-up. Well, girls might be of the opinion that it tends to make you look good, if that’s the case . . . well, great! But, there’s another section (of men and women) who put on makeup only so that the society accepts them. So, here’s my question . . . why should we try too hard to look good…for others? Is all the makeup that you put on, the lipgloss, the rouge, the kajal, the mascara, the eyeliner, the fake eyelashes…for the society? To all the women who wear makeup, try too hard to impress and fall in line with the “standards” of the society, just know that . . . you are gorgeous even without it.

Women of today are amazingly beautiful as they are. Financially stable, articulate, well-read, passionate, intense and fantastic. Gone are the days of trying to make ends meet, gone are the days when you had to look after the kitchen at home and nothing else, gone are the days that you need to accept the bullshit that your boyfriend/husband gives you because its the social protocol. Today, women are achievers, astronauts, nobel prize winners, pulitzer awardees, CEOs and what not!

And, so there’s no need for you to dress up, doll up, and turn on your “sexy” because people can look at you, boys can cast glances at you and drool over your mini-skirt or your clear, acne-hidden skin. Beyond the artificial enhancements, the pain you go through to match every shoe to your dress, match every accessory to your shoes, match every lipstick to your accessory, be presentable. Just don’t try too hard. The society is just plain stupid. It will never stop criticizing.

I firmly believe, as do so many men and mothers out there. Girls are beautiful, just out of bed, no makeup, their hair crazily strewn, skin wrinkled, acnes, and rashes included.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t wear makeup. Simply be you. If you do wear make-up, wear it because you want to not because you feel like you have to.

You are beautiful as you are. Period.

How to Become a Fake Godman in 15 ways

Fake Godmen

How to become a Godman?

Godmen have the best of both worlds. They experience heaven on earth, a multitude of women, fans, money, and fame always seem to follow them wherever they go.

Here are 15 ways to become a fake godman too. (Everything listed here are tongue-in-cheek. Not to be taken seriously).

Am not responsible if you fail in becoming a fake godman, but, if you do . . . well, you got to give me a share of your property. 😉

1. Adopt a new, fancy, and exceptionally longggg name. So, no more being called Rama, or Krishna. Re-christen yourself as Bhagwan Sri Sri Sri (the more Sris, the better) Rama Krishna Paramapitha Maggi Vasudeva Kurkure Menon Swamigal.

2. Grow an equally long beard. You won’t be taken seriously if you address the crowd with a clean-shaven look and military hair cut. You must appear like a prehistoric ape. So grow your hair and beard long enough for birds and animals to live in, and for Loosama Gin Laden to hide in.

3. Re-christen your devotees’ names too. Imagination is key here. So, Miss Shalini Dubey becomes Ma Shakeela Kubey. Play around with names till you get it right. And, remember the prefixes. Ma, Pa, Mami, Paati, Thatha. Everything matters.

4. Have an orange dress code. So everything from your innerwear to your slippers metamorph into an absurd color of orange.  And, yes . . . . loads and loads of rudrakhsh malas around your neck, like a bride ready for marriage.

5. Learn magic tricks. This can make or break your career. You must be able to create vibuthi (holy ash) out of thin air, conjure a linga from your mouth without gagging, and cure fever in pigs. Straightening a dog’s tail will give you legendary holy man status. So, learn. And practice.

6.  Self-proclaim your enlightened status. Yes, self-publicity is the need of the hour. Tell the world that you became enlightened sitting on top of a rock, rolling in the bottom of a pit, or standing on top of poop in a pig sty. And when you say this, look to the heavens, close your eyes, and cry. (Heightened effect).

7. Change the pitch of your voice.  Make it deep. Make it broadcasting. Pause for effect. Talk slowly. Keep laughing at your own joke, or roll your eyes if you have nothing else to do. And, yes . . . most importantly, talk gibberish.

8. Open an ashram. Get suddenly struck by God’s lightning bolt when you are deep in meditation, and say that “God has asked” you to start an ashram. Bless a few foreigners and a couple of political leaders. Lo and behold, all the Swiss bank purse strings will open.

9. Read. Read. Read. Any book on Zen Buddhism, Nasrudin Mullah, and Jangri Dabba is key. You must be able to give complex “deeper” meanings into simple questions. If someone asks you the time, tell them that life is a pilgrimage from nowhere to nowhere, in which you are now-here.

10. Be in the news, always. This one is difficult. Be armed with controversies and miracles. Make people believe that they can fly. Tell the world that chickens die because they don’t call out to God for help. Cure blind men of their deafness, and deaf men of their dumbness.

11. Start a free school and a medical hospital. This is important in gaining more trust. Donations will be key here. So, make sure you say it’s all part of God’s plan. Everything else can be charged. Right from processions, to prasadams, to papads. High return on investments. Rest assured.

12. Keep separate rooms for special ‘devotees’. So, well-to-do businessmen has a separate room, top political officer has another, and one of  your “special female devotees on the pathway to heavenly nectar” has a separate room. Discourses and acts in each of these rooms must be different. Mixing rooms up will lead to disaster.

13. Beware of video surveillance. Completely ransack your rooms for any form of video cameras. A fly on the wall, a slipper on the floor, a jam bottle on the table . . . these are dangerous items. Watch out for any holes in the wall during your ‘holy’ act. If caught, claim that you were morphed, the girl was morphed, and the bed itself was morphed.

14. Keep meditating. Watch monkeys monkeying around. Watch different apes, gorillas, and buffaloes for inspiration. Adopt the same technique and call it dynamonkey meditation, tarzan meditation, or tummy meditation. Make your devotees sing, dance, shout, and cry for extended periods. Or, ask them to watch a Karan Johar movie.

15. Last but not the least. Threaten the world that you will leave your physical, mathematical, and chemistrical body if the devotees do not give you bikes, cars, aeroplanes, and bullock carts. And, wait for the swiss purse strings to open up again.

Doing all this will ensure you a successful career as a fake Godman. All the best.

Jai Pyjamaya namaha!

This post is part of the Chennai Bloggers Club’s CBC VIBGYOR BLOG TAG. The color theme for the post was Orange.

Who is the real terrorist?

(This is a terrorist’s version of who actually is a terrorist, in broken english rap)

Well they call me a terrorist,
And frankly I don’t know why.
Maybe coz I love shooting,
Maybe coz I love killing,
But are you not as much a terrorist as I am?
You want me to die,
You want me to get killed,
You say I’m a disgrace to the society,
You say I’m bad, killer, terrorist,
But who is?
You beat your kid black and blue,
You can’t take care of your own child,
And you want to take care of the world.
I might kill some people for the fun of it,
But you go about hating people,
Mistrusting them, shitting them,
Killing their joy, killing their dream,
Killing their future, killing their lives,
And you say I’m a killer?

You marry four times, divorce thrice,
You force your ideas onto your son,
You want everyone from the government to your cat,
To abide by your rules,
Who’s terrorizing?
You or I?

You might not like me one single bit,
Well, frankly speakin I don’t like you too.
You say I’m rippin people apart,
Rippin peace, rippin harmony,
But, how dare you steal what rightfully is mine?
Rippin me of my pride, rippin me of my honor,
Who’s rippin whom?
You might pay to see me die,
That ain’t wrong is it?
Well, I pay to see you cry.
And that is wrong, ain’t it?
Who’s terrorizing?
You or I?