She was my first love. I was 17 at that time. Growing up in all-boys school had never given me a chance to be with girls in close proximity. I saw her on the first day of college, and I said to myself “Well . . . she’s the woman I want to marry.”
I was completely smitten by her. She was gorgeous. A beautiful angel. I knew in that instant, that I would love no one else but her. It wasn’t a crush . . . It was love . . . pure love. Love at first sight. I didn’t know anything else about her, but . . . I didn’t care. I just wanted her to be mine. Mine forever. Every part of me wanted her desperately. It was not lust, it was something else. Something pure. Something divine. I felt a connection. I knew deep down, she was the one for me. She was the missing piece of my life’s jigsaw puzzle.
Our eyes had met across the cafeteria table. She was joking around with her group of friends. They looked intimidating. I was really nervous, but, I couldn’t resist anymore. She was like poison spreading throughout my body; I was completely intoxicated by her. I walked towards her, unsure in my steps. My heart was pumping at a million beats per second. But, I had to tell her.
I stood before her like an idiot. She was busy looking into her cellphone. All her friends immediately preyed their eyes on me.
I took a deep breath. This is the moment Vishnu, I said to myself.
“Hi Maya” I stammered.
She didn’t hear me. She was still typing a message on her cellphone.
I tried again. “Maya?” I said.
One of her friends nudged her to look at me.
She looked up from her mobile. For a moment, my heart stopped beating completely.
Her eyes . . . they just took my breath away. I could spend my lifetime just looking into those deep, brown eyes. I fell head over heels in love with her . . . all over again.
“Yes?” she said.
“I . . . I know am going to sound like an idiot, and this is not the way I wanted to tell you . . . but, I love you Maya. I loved you from the moment you stepped into this college, I loved you from the moment the wind blew a strand of hair onto your gorgeous face, that made my heart pound louder than a million drums beating together, to this moment when you looked at me with your beautiful brown eyes that made my knees weak and wobbly more than an earthquake ever did. I love you Maya . . . I want to marry you.”
She had a shell-shocked look in her face. The faces of her friends were no better. They were icy-cold. Ready for murdering me on the spot.
“So?” I asked her again.
And, then without warning . . . she started laughing. Hysterically. She couldn’t stop herself. Her laughing was so infectious. Her friends started laughing along with her . . . and I started laughing too.
Tonight, I stand here all alone. My life has just been stripped off me. I had loved her with all my heart. But, this was the end. The end of our three years together. Only the memories of our love remain with me. Memories that I clung onto dearly. Our breakup was horrible. We could never get back together, that was for sure. In our fury, we said nasty things to each other; Our relationship was beyond repair.
Two minutes to my birthday. It’s been two years since Maya has been out of my life. There was not one single news of her. I didn’t know how she was. Where she was. I just hoped she was happy. I couldn’t bear being without her. I tried moving on, but, failed. There was always a void in my heart. A void that nobody else could fill.
11:59pm. I received my first call. An unknown number. I picked it up with a huge grin on my face.
“Happy birthday Vishnu”
The voice sounded so familiar. Can it really be her?
“Hi Vishnu . . . how are you?”
“Am fine . . . . Maya . . . this is such a surprise. Didn’t expect you to call me.” All my past love came flooding back to me.
“I love you Vishnu. Hope you are fine without me?”
I burst into tears. I was overcome with emotion.
“It’s been two years. . . but, I keep thinking of you everyday Vishnu. I couldn’t miss you anymore.”
Tears streamed down my face. I was crying uncontrollably. My first love . . . my only love . . .
“I love you Maya . . . These two years . . . have been living hell. I missed you so much.”
“Are you in a relationship with someone else Vishnu?”
“No,” I cried “it’s always been you. . . I don’t want someone else. I love you . . . Only you.”
I believe in soul mates. I believe there is always someone waiting for you. Somewhere in the nook and corner of this world. We just need to open ourselves up, and be ready to receive love.
And, never be afraid to let go of love, when it pains the other person. They say, love can move mountains. Yes, it can move mountains, and stop the world spinning if it wants to.
So let go. If you feel your love is hurting the other person, just let go. I always feel that if the love is true, it will find a way back. Always . . . no matter what the odds are.
And, by the way, this is my true story. So, miracles do happen.