(This article is NOT meant for those so-called “perfect humans”. This article is for all those imperfect people like myself)
“I hate myself !!!” one of my close friends exclaimed with exasperation. Silently laughing, I mused to myself “Here she goes again !!!”.
Somehow, someday we end up in the same muck as her. It’s no different from lots of my other friends. Infact, even I go through the same feeling that am a worthless piece of crap. Of all the relationships in the world, we are least forgiving on ourselves. We treat ourselves with a stern iron hand. We keep reminding ourselves of our past and all the pitfalls we’ve gone through. We have low self-esteem and feel unworthy of receiving love. We keep labeling ourselves as the “worst failures in the whole world”.
We are raised on comparison. Marks, grades, status, achievements, mobiles, backpacks, shoes, belts, tube tops, every damn thing is compared with others. What matters more to us is to be better than others than to better than our former selves. We get the latest gizmos from the market to flaunt our status with least regard to our parents’ financial troubles. We NEED matching pink earrings, pink hairclips, pink lipstick, pink nailpolish, pink shoes and pink belts for our pink dress. We bother about the ‘once upon a time’ we got mocked at on stage and swear to never go onstage again. We remember our zeros in our exams and proudly say that “well, stupid maths isn’t my cup of tea.” We remember the last time we screwed up while speaking to the opposite gender and then put on a brave “Well, I have no interest in love” face. We curse God for creating us with lesser talents and throw swearwords at Him and when the situation doesn’t change, we hurl even more abuses and declare ourselves as “atheists”.
We keep searching for a best mate or a romantic partner just to fill the emptiness within. If someone has a little more talent than we do, we feel inadequate. Our “ego” cap is always on top of our heads. We indulge in self-criticism as normally as drinking a glass of water.
We create fake masks to wear, proclaim to be celebrities, look for cheap publicity and engage in false laughter just to called a “great socialite”. We feed our ‘need-to-be-noticed’ dog. We keep thinking about things out of our control, and eat the pill of worry for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We trust other people, but, we don’t trust ourselves. We forgive others, but, we don’t forgive ourselves. We are truthful to others, but, we aren’t truthful to ourselves. We find time for our friends and all those ‘important’ phone calls that we get. But, we don’t find time for ourselves. We don’t find time to become fit, we don’t indulge in meditation, we don’t care about the food that we eat and the time that we go to sleep. We can stay up all day replying to our friends’ messages, but we can’t value our own time. We have forgotten the beauties of nature and we rack our minds trying to remember the last time we watched the sunrise, noticed a beautiful dew drop on a flower petal, got wet in the rain or walked barefoot in the beach all by ourselves.
We feel it is the end of the world if there is an extra freckle on our face, or, if our ‘spiked’ hair isn’t spiked anymore. We compare ourselves with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and declare to the world that we aren’t even an ounce beautiful or handsome. We try all sorts of creams and make-up to make-up our minds.
We lie to ourselves. We convince our minds to postpone things for tomorrow saying it won’t make a difference. We create false hopes within, we resolutely persuade ourselves that the “end of the world” is tomorrow and then close our books and play on the computer. We don’t remember our resolutions after a week, we kill our hopes, our dreams, our destiny. How many of us are actually clear of what we want to do in life ? Have we understood the real purpose of our creation on planet earth ? We don’t love ourselves. We never forgive our mistakes nor forget.
Whenever one of our friends come up to us with a problem, we hug our friends and make them feel better. Have we ever hugged ourselves and made us feel better ?
We support others, love them, inspire them, motivate them, make them smile, laugh and be on top of the world. But, what about ourselves ?
The more we love ourselves, the more we will be able to give to others. Let’s all look at the mirror every morning and proclaim our love to ourselves. We will drive home the fact that we are all beautiful. We are all handsome. As the old saying goes “Don’t think about changing the world without changing yourself first”. Let us all change. Let us think about what makes us special. Let us accept ourselves despite all our flaws and imperfections. Enough of all “I love you” statements that we make to our friends. Let us say “I love MYSELF” for once.